The Random Adventures of Fullmetal Alchemist
by Twisted-Metal97
Summary: Just random drabbles including Ed and the rest of the FMA crew...enjoy! Some are a little OC while others are just CRACK-TASTIC! Main pairing is EdWin...maybe some Royai and others later....
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Fma or its characters...but a kid can dream can't he!?! Characters are a little OC with a pinch of crack...deal with it! It's my story MUWAHAHAHAHA! No flames!!!

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As Ed and Al walked to the city Resembool Al asked, "Brother what do people do when they want a baby?"

Embarrassed Ed said, "Well Al ummmmmmm........well they have ummmmmmmm………sex."

Al asked, "How do people have sex?"

Ed said nothing to keep Al away from learning the truth, but Al wouldn't give up. After a while Al gave up whispering "You mini sized shrimp."

Edward (annoyed) asked," What did you say?"

Al in a worried voice responded, "Nothing brother..."

Ed being a smart ass said, "That's what I thought!"

Arriving in Resembool, Ed and Al headed for their favorite homicidal mechanic, Winry Rockbell. They also couldn't forget about the one and only GRANNY PINAKO! Winry had a huge Wrench in her hand and as soon as hers eyes met with the shrimpy blonds, she screeched, "Take this you dumb ass!"

Ed ran faster than the speed of a caterpillar (A/N WTF?...how fast is a caterpillar?), but it was not fast enough and was hit by the wrench. One droplet of blood hit the ground and Ed jumped up and yelled "OMFG!" He fainted (A/N talk about being squeemish...). Hand on his head Al picked Ed up and carried him to the house saying,* "Jesus man you're so dramatic." (A/N poor Al...he puts up with so much...)

TWO MINUTES LATER. Ed woke up and asked" Why Winry why!?!"

Winry even angrier yelled, "BECAUSE DIP SHIT IT HAS BEEN ALMOST TWO YEARS SINCE I SAW YOU, YOU ASS HOLE!"

Winry ran up to her room and stayed there for a while. After that Ed yelled, "Are you on your period?" (A/N Not a smart move on Ed's part...hehehe)

Winry even madder yelled so loud half the town could hear her, "NO YOU IDIOT!"

(She really was though) Ed just nodded and siad, "Ooooooh, okay then."

Then he went to the kitchen and stuffed his fat face. Ed sang, "Come little cookie to my mouth, let me eat you and when it's done, I can eat your little friends."

Pinako walked in and screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU CHILD! I SHOULD BEAT YOUR HEAD IN!"

Scaring Ed half to death, he dropped his whip cream covered cookie and started to cry like a girl (A/N *gets shot by Riza for being sexist*),

"M-M-MY COOOOOKIE!!!"

Pinako hit him in the head and said, "You little half shrimp, you have issues."

He stopped crying and ranted on about what Granny Pinako didn't say. Like WHO YOU CALLLIN' A MIDGET SIZED PIP SQUEEK WHO WOULD DROWN IN A SINGLE DROP OF WATER!!!

A couple days later they decided to leave. Once again Winry threw her wrench and once again it hit Ed in the head, but this time the wrench was titled THE WRENCH OF DOOOOOOM! Ed and Al left and Al started a talk on where babies came from. Ed lost two things in those two short days. He lost his dignity and his cookie.

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_My_ first story...not my sisters this time. Please review...NO FLAMES. Flames will be used to destroy man kind! Good reviewers get Ed's cookie!


	2. Chapter 2

Ed and Al again returned to the Rockbell residence. After dinner Ed went outside to get some exercise. Al a couple days later wondered where was Ed going to sleep. He checked the couch a couple times, but nothing. Al asked Ed right when he stepped in the guest room," Where have you been sleeping these last couple days?" Ed (like the retard he is) thought Al was sleeping, but remembered that he couldn't sleep. Ed said," Uhhhhhhhhhh…. No where." Al asked again," Where have you been sleeping these last couple days?" Ed said," Just raiding the fridge again." Al (a little annoyed) said," For nine and half hours." Ed (getting suspicious that Al was getting suspicious) said," I was just hungry." Al dropped the subject because he knew Ed would never tell him. The day had gone by quickly and in the afternoon Al snuck into Winry's room and hid behind the door. Ed and Winry stepped in her room. He knew Ed was lying. Al sat down as quietly as he could. They didn't notice (I still wonder how they couldn't hear the loud clank on the ground or the large suit of armor beside the door) Al witnessed the horror as they started to kiss and slowly got undressed. He was horrified when they were completely naked (but still enjoyed Winry's body) Al had now just figured out how to screw someone. Weeks later Winry told Ed that she was pregnant and he freaked out (like freaking out when you were told your pet hamster died). Two days later they announced their marriage and later that evening Winry said," Edward I'm lying to you." Then took the pillow from her shirt. He freaked out again. Al (laughing) said," By the way I told Pinako what you were doing." After the cruel beating Granny Pinako laughed to. Thus Ends Our Story.

THE  
END!


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